u/Separate-Computer-66:
"I (43m American) was invited to go drink baijiu with a girl (33F with kid) I've been talking to the last couple of months."
A Lot To Drink
The invitation became a night that moved quickly:
u/Separate-Computer-66:
"We both proceeded to drink a lot, and went back to the hotel. She went to put her child to sleep (who was staying with her aunt), and I fell asleep."
Nothing in that sentence explains what either person thought was supposed to happen next. It only tells us where the night stopped for him.
The Morning Changed The Story
The next day supplied an explanation the narrator had not expected:
u/Separate-Computer-66:
"The aunt scolded me the next day because she said it's custom for Chinese women to drink when comfortable with you to open up."
The aunt's explanation turned a quiet hotel night into a question about an unwritten signal.
What Did "Open Up" Mean?
One reply did not pretend the phrase was self-explanatory:
u/turtlemeds:
"I'm not quite sure I understand what her aunt said to you. 'Open up?'"
The OP's question was less about baijiu itself than about whether he had failed to read the moment:
u/Separate-Computer-66:
"Did I mess up by not checking on her (which i did twice, by she said she was okay and not worry)."
The Checks He Remembered
The thread contains the small detail he kept returning to: he says he checked on her twice and that she said she was okay.
Another commenter read those checks as the important part of the night:
u/lolipop1990:
"You checked on her, she said she was ok. You were both drunk and this was the right thing to not engage anything further under this situation."
That is one commenter's reading of the account, not a universal rule for every drinking or dating situation.
Near Changsha
The OP later supplied one more piece of place:
u/Separate-Computer-66:
"They are near Changsha."
It does not solve the disagreement. It simply makes the story less abstract: a particular relationship, a particular aunt, and a particular night that two people may have read differently.
Still Lost
The narrator does not claim to have decoded the custom by the end:
u/Separate-Computer-66:
"I'm still lost at the cultural nuances sometimes."
The question remains open because the thread never establishes what the woman herself expected.
Source: Original Reddit post by u/Separate-Computer-66 in r/AskAChinese, with selected public replies quoted above. The article omits unverified reply speculation about scams, blackmail, green cards, and generalized dating behavior. Quotes remain attributed and this article does not present one thread as a universal cultural rule.
